Be happy. No matter how short-lived!
2. Parenting is not easy. I used to blame my parents for not being affectionate. I told myself that I was flawed because I lacked hugs. Here I am now, a parent of a 15-year old girl, and I’m thinking, “if I was anywhere near this, I understand why my parents didn’t want to hug me!”
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| She got the quirky gene so now I understand what my parents went through! It's just a lot tougher because I see so much of me in her. |
3. (Related to #2 above) MY PARENTS LOVE/D ME! I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling. I was different. (I was pretty! Hahaha! Seriously…) I was the lost child. The one who gave them the most headaches. They may have rarely shown their love before in traditional ways (they still don’t), but I feel it now. They love me and care for me. I just have to be open to receiving that love.
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| I have learned to accept that Papa's "lumulobo ka na naman, ha?" actually means, "stay healthy, my baby girl!" :D |
4. Motherhood supersedes ALL THINGS. Even your own happiness. The minute my children started expressing their wants- it was Jollibee every time we ate out! Or if we tried planning for a family trip, the answer always used to be “Disneyland!” (Which I dread like crazy because I have vertigo!)
But, really, their welfare trumps all things. The minute I had them, “I” was shoved to the back shelf. A mother would never allow herself to be happy at the expense of her children’s happiness.
4. Being Ms. Congeniality is tiring. I used to be a people-pleaser. I had to be friendly to everyone. I would tiptoe on eggshells so that I wouldn’t offend anyone.
Well, those days are gone! I know now what I want, what makes me happy, what is worth my time. I take great efforts to nurture friendships that are important to me. Every one else can call me a B (although I’m rarely rude and never unkind).
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| Though late in life, I developed deep friendships with people who help me stay sane. |
5. To hell with what everyone thinks of me! I never wore sleeveless shirts most of my life because I knew I had fat arms. Well, those days are over! Global warming demands sleeveless shirts and halter tops!
Seriously, I have loose skin because I lost 70 pounds. I even have stretch marks because I used to be an elephant (though my youngest says I’m a zebra because I have stripes!). But, when you’re 46 and you may die soon, you realize that you want to feel sexy even if you’re not perfect. You want to show some skin finally because you’re not too young that it’s immoral. You’re not too old that it’s disgusting. And, specially because, your husband understands your need to show more skin in your midlife. If not now, then when, right?!
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| Elephant no more! Now it's "baby elephant"! Hahaha! (I spy stretch marks, cellulite and loose skin.) |
6. I am “Aphrodite!” That’s what my psychiatrist said. She said that, under Jungian theory, I am an Aphrodite. I am naturally friendly and charming. I tend to attract people’s attention and admiration and (hard to believe!) I exude sensuality. (HA!- maybe I should replace my shrink!) So, I say to my husband, it’s not my fault that men (of a certain discount age) look at me stickily. Blame it on Carl Jung!
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| The shrink said I was a "Diana," too, but only mildly. I was always meant to be "Aphrodite"! |
And, finally for now….
7. Life is short. Make the most of each day. Tell people you love that you love them as much as you can. Forgive. Be kind always. Tie loose ends. And- live! Learn new things, love with passion, do good, find your happiness. Try not to die with regrets. We only get one chance at this. :D
Amen.
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